Trying so hard to be productive….

I am trying so hard today to be productive…. But it is just not happening. I don’t know if it’s just because it’s Friday, or because of the impending huge storm that’s coming in tonight that’s supposed to put all of Salt Lake on it’s ear, or because I’m supposed to have ‘movie night’ tonight with my husband and kids, and stay over because I have to work tomorrow for a few hours and the house is only blocks away from work and due to the snow it just makes more sense to stay close by, or if I’m just ready to be done for the week, or all of the above, or WHAT.

Yeah, Im having movie night with my husband. So what? Lately the lines of communication have been more open, and it actually seems like he has been LISTENING to me. I don’t know what that means, or if it means anything, I’m certainly not jumping to conclusions. But we are planning to look into some couples and family counseling at the first of the year. Who knows what will happen. Im definitely not tying my hopes and dreams to anything yet, as far as I’m concerned we have a long way to go before I’m even close to making any decisions, and I’ve made that clear. I haven’t gone through the last several months of Hell just to go back to the way life was before.

But I have learned some things about myself, some good, some bad. And I think he has too. And maybe it’s time to stand back and evaluate. I think that’s at least fair. For us, for the kids. For the thirteen years we will or won’t walk away from.

I have to give him credit; since the day I walked out, any time I needed him, he was there. Flat tire, broken door, money to feed the kids, he was there, and that does count for something.

Funny… if I had been at home, would he have been nearly as quick to respond?

Hmmmm…..

I think I might PEE myself…

I am so excited. I am excited for the following reasons:

1: Tomorrow is Friday.

2: I have worked so many hours already this week, I could work 3 hours tomorrow and call it good.

3: My bowling ball arrived yesterday, my PIRATE bowling ball, and it is AWESOME.

4: I am going out with a friend from work tomorrow.

5: We are going to the movies… to see SWEENEY TODD!!!

6: Did I mention that I’m going out with a friend from work? This is the most exciting thing of all. Outside of work, as unbelievable as it may seem, I really don’t have any friends. My entire social life consists of my husband and three kids. This person is a lady I have always really liked and enjoyed talking to, she has a great sense of humor and is really cool. I don’t know why I have such a hard time making real ‘friend’ friends, I just do. It seems like everyone I know likes me and thinks I’m funny and fun to be around, and yet, they think it’s just another huge joke when I tell them I have nobody to hang out with outside of the 9 to 5. I try to convince myself that I come off as so incredibly awesome, that people just assume I can’t possibly have room in my posse for one more…?
It doesn’t work.
I can’t remember the last time I went out with someone I wasn’t married to, it has seriously been years. God, I have to try so hard not to seem to desparate, I don’t want to creep her out. Have you ever noticed that the first time out with a new friend is almost like a first date? You want to be funny, but not overbearing, you want to make them want more without coming on too strong… constantly thinking ‘How am I doing? Is she having a good time? Does she really like me?’
God, I am such a dork. No wonder nobody hangs out with me.
Awesome, my ass.

For 2008: Some Resolutions I Can Live With

Once again, a new year is upon us… and many of us will make that traditional list of resolutions for the coming days that we will, no doubt, fail to live up to almost immediately.
Well, this year, I have decided to be a little smarter (and more realistic) about the goals I set for myself. I have decided to look to my favorite film and television characters in order to shape my do’s and don’ts for 2008. Here goes:
I will be more politically correct than Borat.
I will eat less chocolate than Augustus Gloop.
I will almost always be more sober than Anna Nicole.
I will shower more than Hagrid. (And shave more, too.)
I will be less insufferable than Horatio.
I will be nicer than the Soup Nazi.
I will smell better than Captain Jack.
I will be more willing to see my own faults than Marie Barrone.
I will ruthlessly dismember less people than Dexter.
I will shout less than that Oxy-Clean guy.
I will terrorize less neighborhood children than Mr. Nebercracker. (Okay, maybe 1 less kid.)

There may be more, but for now, these are things I’m fairly sure I can keep to. Notice I made no promises regarding how good I’d be to my husband or kids; some things you just can’t guarantee…

Sweeney Todd: Depp can pull off ANYTHING

Well, I didn’t think it could happen. A Depp character as good as, maybe (dare I say) better, than Captain Jack? Impossible!
But then, last night: it happened. The Man and I went to see Sweeney Todd. And I say unto you: that man can do ANYTHING.
I had seen the stage production on HBO starring Angela Lansbury and some other old toads way back in my teens, and had really liked the story, if not the cast. I about peed myself when I saw the fist ads for the movie, starring none other than my favorite pirate ever. And it was AWESOME!!
NOTE: I have to say sadly that this film won’t be for everyone. First off, its a Sondheim musical. Secondly, it is easily the bloodiest movie I have ever seen, and mind you, I have seen me some gore in my time. Most people probably won’t understand the blood was way over the top on purpose, the symbolism of Todd’s thirst for revenge only slaked by gallons, and I mean GALLONS, of that visceral red stuff. And really, Johnny Depp, the singer? Even I was dubious. But I gotta tell you, he rocked. My loins quivered. My heart ached. My head almost exploded. I think I drooled on myself, and I don’t care.
On the way home, I suggested to my husband that perhaps I need a Sweeney tattoo to complement the Captain Jack on my leg.
He was not amused.